There are moments when he looks at her,
Seeking the love that shone brilliantly with each gaze.
Searching for the little smile that crossed her lips with each interaction between them.
Aching for the acts of affection that were given so lavishly but went unappreciated.
There are moments when he looks at her,
With bated breath and a frightfully hopefully gaze.
Looking for the love he thought was infinitely his,
From eyes clouded by his disappointments,
And a heart forever broken by them.
Alexandra. I hope I didn’t wake you”, he said.
“No. I am up finalizing a design.”
She heard him draw a deep albeit shaky breath. Like he was mentally bracing himself for what he was about to say. Hearing him do so put her on edge. The call itself had thrown her mind and emotions off kilter. To hear him do so before revealing his reasons for the late night phone call didn’t bode well.
“Max… What’s wrong?”
“Alexandra… She… I need you…”, Max was never a stutterer. If anything; he was the one person you could rest assured would find the right words, no matter the situation. His incoherent reply meant the situation was a lot worse than she could imagine.
“What is it?”, she asked. “Tell it to me at once because you’re scaring me.”
With that; her thoughts raced over every possible situation that could get him to act this way. Try as she may; she couldn’t find a plausible reason that would explain his current behavior. She was about to prod him for an explanation when his hushed words cut off her thoughts.
“Tessa died.” He whispered over the phone. “She must have slipped out of the apartment while I was in the shower”. His change in tone denoted the gravity of the situation. A situation, it seemed, he couldn’t bring himself to accept. Every word out of him came in slow, shaky tones that brooked no interruption.
Tears rushed to her eyes as she tried to stifle a sob while listening to the gory details. Marc- his next door neighbour, had found the little dog whimpering and covered in blood on the way back from his late night jog. He’d immediately scooped it up and rushed to Max’s apartment after recognising her spotted tail.
Alexandra could only imagine what this loss would do to him. Tessa was his world. The last tangible link to a past he refused to let go of. The one thing he swore was the only good thing out of it. Knowing how much Tessa meant to him made her glad for the fact that they were able to share her last moments together – in the safe haven of his arms where she had known so much love and comfort.
He called her at midnight. She was so startled by the sound of her ringtone she could barely think beyond seeing his name flash across her phone screen. In that moment; she tried to recall the last time she’d talked to him and realized she could no longer place the sound of his voice. No matter how she tried, the voice she’d loved so much had faded from memory. With a frustrated sigh, she gave up and concentrated on the call.Why was he calling now? Why today of all days?
It was almost five years to the day they said their final goodbye. The day she had looked into his vacant eyes and whispered ‘goodbye’ to him. Burying the love they shared along with it. That day was quite unforgetable that thinking about it now brought a slight chill to her arms. The air had been so frigid she had felt the chill down to her bones. Like God was freezing every fibre of her love for him in time, in a place she could no longer visit because of the memories.
Over the years; the chill had thawed to be replaced by a warmth she was beginning to revel in. Until his name flashed across her phone screen. She knew she couldn’t let it ring intermittently, because when the love of your life calls, the call never goes unanswered.
Alexandra took two deep breaths to still her racing thoughts and picked up the phone.
“Hello? Alexandra, are you there?”
Every little scenario Alexandra had conjured up in the past five years could not prepare her for this moment. She had dreaded it ever since their goodbye. And now; it was finally upon her. The moment she would say ‘hello’ to him again. All the little scenarios and mental pep-talks disappeared like ash beneath a strong wind, as memories of their time together chased each other across her mind, in preparation for the words that would let him back into her life.
“Hello.”
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Simply Shanah 